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Popular Best Man Jokes

During my many years as a Wedding Photographer, I have heard so many Best Man speeches. Some better than others!
If your best man is struggling with writing his speech or maybe you are a little concerned about his content, why not give him a helping hand with my selection of popular best man jokes…

  • My Speech today will be like a mini skirt, long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!
  • For those of you who don’t know me, my name is (BESTMAN) and for those of you that do know me… I apologise. My full name is actually “(BESTMAN) would you like a drink”?. So if I chat to you in the bar later I would appreciate it if you used my full name.
Popular Best Man Jokes
Photo: iStock
  • As part of my research, I discovered that according to tradition I am supposed to sing the groom’s praises and tell you all about his many good points. Well, I’m very sorry but I can’t sing and I won’t lie.
  • I do have to say though (GROOM), just how lucky you are. You will leave here today with a wife who is warm, loving and caring. And (BRIDE), how lucky you are as well. You leave here today with a lovely new dress and some beautiful flowers.
  • It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers
  • So where do I start with (GROOM), well he is handsome, witty, intelligent, char, charm, sorry (GROOM), I can’t read your writing. You can tell me the rest later.
Popular Best Man Jokes
  • You’ve got no idea how much I have been looking forward to today. After all the time I have been friends with (GROOM) he has at long last admitted I am in fact the Best man.
  • In planning for today the bride and groom were having an issue with the seating plan, who would be comfortable here and who would have to get up to speak. So they decided to use the wedding present list, the biggest presents at the front and work it back from there. So hopefully you can hear me at the back when I say on behalf of the bride and groom, thanks for the teaspoons.
  • I have spoken to some of (GROOMS) workmates who tell me that his nickname in work is “The God”! Apparently, he makes his own rules and if he does any work it’s usually a miracle.
  • I have been a bit nervous about today’s speeches but (GROOM) was very good and took me aside to help calm me down. He said that if I did a really good job and went easy on him, I could be the best man at his next wedding!

And finally this is one of the oldest wedding jokes I can think of and it still gets a laugh today…

  • During my research on the internet I looked into weddings in general, I looked at three key elements of the ceremony:
    The Aisle – It’s the longest walk you’ll ever take
    The Alter – The place where two become one
    The Hymn – The celebration of marriage
    I think (BRIDE) must have done the same research as I did because as she was walking past me I’m sure I heard her whisper Aisle, Alter, Hymn “I’ll alter him”

Have you any other great jokes for the best man? Add them in the comments below – but please, keep them clean!

Read More: The Wedding Speeches – Who says what and when!

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Paul Crawford

Wedding Photographer Paul Crawford

Based in Ballyclare, Northern Ireland

Paul is married to Patricia (who helped him write these Wedding Hints & Tips posts!!) and the proud Dad to 2 fantastic sons.

A full-time professional photographer since 1990 and been privileged to have photographed well over 1300 weddings since then.

He worked in his own High Street Photography Studios up until December 2010 when he decided to downsize and work from home. He now splits his time between running Photography Courses and Wedding Photography, limiting himself to 30 weddings a year to maintain the quality and high level of customer service to each of his couples.

Is Paul still available for your Wedding Day? Check Now

Wedding Photography  |    |  Ensure your Best Man is on Top Form!