Wedding Photographer Northern Ireland

Following on from my popular blog post called Funny Wedding Quotes, here are a few more sent to me by Rebecca from the company that set-up the website www.belfastwedding.co.uk

MY WIFE AND I

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: twice a week, we go to a nice restaurant, drink a little wine, eat some good food, and enjoy companionship.... She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Newcastle and mine is in Plymouth.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and, electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburettor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."

My wife is on a new diet; coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now.

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"...I said, "Dust!"

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Tags: funny wedding quotes, wedding stories, best man speech

Share this article: